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#1 01-12-2018 09:37:50

Date d'inscription: 25-11-2016
Messages: 486

We never think that our relationship will experience the tragedy of an affair. No one ever expects it Black Jonathan Allen Jersey , but it happens to so many nonetheless. Often, both partners want to put the relationship back together again. Here's the blueprint for recovery.

The First Thing To Do Is To Go To A Couple's Therapist.

Yes, I am biased about this since I am a couple's therapist. But I've seen so many people come to me years after an affair and the wounds are still raw. The couple once thought they had put the affair behind them Black Derrius Guice Jersey , but they really had not. Either the betrayed partner never really got over it, or the person who had the affair never really let go of the passion, attraction or dreams evoked by the affair.

So Black Da'Ron Payne Jersey , do it right. Get some help. You're too close to the problem to see it clearly.

For The Person Who Feels Betrayed:

Your reactions may range from wanting to get the person back at your side at any cost, to kicking him or her out at the least provocation. And, you may cycle from one to the other throughout the recovery process.

You can figure on at least a year to really get over most of it. It is a grief process. You've had dreams crushed and trust shattered. It will take a long time. You need a resource network besides your partner. That means friends Preston Smith Jersey , family, minister, counselor. Grief is sadness Brandon Scherff Jersey , and often depression and anger mixed in. You need to hear repeatedly that your partner is sorry and really means it.

Your biggest problem is that your partner is going to believe that the two of you should just put it all behind you and get on with life. He or she will think that what happened really didn't matter that much, that relationship with you is what really matters, and now it is recognized. Your partner will want to just move on. You are not going to be able to do that. That's why you're going to need the help of that therapist.

For The Person Who Had The Affair:

You may think you know what your partner is going through Josh Doctson Jersey , but you don't. You will typically get over the affair fairly quickly and expect your partner to do the same. It doesn't work this way.

If you're going to be successful you're going to have to learn to say "I'm sorry" on a daily basis, ad nauseum, for at least a year. It will be very trying for you because you just won't get it. You won't get how wounded your partner is Montae Nicholson Jersey , and how long the recovery is going to take. You won't want to take full responsibility for how much harm you've created. You're going to feel like it is all about beating up on and blaming you.

But you're going to have to learn to live with it all. It is called the consequences of your behavior. None of us like this very much. It is difficult. But it is the real deal. To be successful in this recovery you're going to have to shoulder the responsibility and really become a "big" person.What a challenge you face!


Trust is merely my ability to predict your future behavior based on my observation of your past behavior. After an affair, trust has been ruined. Everything is brought into question. The partner who strayed needs to have the willingness to have all behavior now be totally transparent.

The only way to re-establish trust is to build up another large resevoir of past behavior that is trustworthy. The person who strayed always believes that trust should be re-established much more quickly than is actually possible.

The Outcome:

Many couples successfully overcome an affair and use it as a challenge for deeper growth together. Many do not. Many couples embrace the pain and mature as human beings. Many do not.

Many couples have two partners willing to put in the grit, perseverence and love necessary to make it work. Many have only one person willing to do so.

Successful recovery from an affair can be the hardest thing you will ever do in your lifetime. Are you up to it?
Author's Resource Box

Steve Roberts is an experienced Marriage and Family Therapist sharing real life relationship secrets from over 20 years of practice. Get Insight & Wisdom for your Relationships at:

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Breanna Stewart is returning to the U.S. from China to rehab a sprained posterior cruciate ligament in her right knee.

The Seattle Storm star injured the knee last week while playing for Shanghai in the Chinese basketball league. She won't require surgery and is flying back Friday to strengthen the knee.

""It's fine. It's nothing major Jonathan Allen Jersey , but it's still an issue I guess,"" Stewart said in a phone interview with The Associated Press on Sunday night from Shanghai. ""It's perfect timing at least. You don't ever want to get injured. I had an MRI and it showed the PCL injury. The plan right now is to go back to the U.S. and do rehab and then come back for the playoffs.""

Her Chinese team finished second and the league's playoffs begin in early February. They are on break until the playoffs begin.

""We are in close communication with Breanna and the medical team overseeing her rehab,"" Seattle Storm president and general manager Alisha Valavanis said. ""Breanna has our ongoing support as she recovers.""

Stewart has been on the go since her senior season at UConn last year. She helped the Huskies win a fourth consecutive title last April and then went first in the WNBA draft to Seattle. She was the league's rookie of the year and also helped the U.S. win a sixth consecutive gold medal at the Olympics in August.

The three-time AP women's basketball Player of the Year headed to China soon after the Storm were eliminated from the playoffs.

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